How to Not Be an Asshole: Minding Your Damn Business & Other Life-Changing Skills
Let’s be real—common decency is practically an endangered species. The world is full of people who somehow missed the memo on how to be decent human beings, and it's getting worse by the day. Social media has folks thinking they can say anything, do anything, and be as reckless as possible without consequences. Newsflash: being an asshole is not a personality trait—it’s a disease, and too many people are infected.
But don’t worry, I’ve got the cure.
You could just buy my ebook, “How to Not Be an Asshole in Today’s Society” (which you absolutely should), but because I’m feeling generous, here’s a sneak peek at some of the ways you might be unknowingly contributing to society’s decline—and how to stop.
1. You’re Not the Main Character. Accept It.
The world does not revolve around you. Your barista isn’t your servant. Your coworkers don’t exist for your entertainment. Strangers don’t owe you shit. That Uber driver who didn’t laugh at your corny joke? He’s not obligated to. Move on.
2. Basic Manners Are Free. Use Them.
If “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me” are foreign concepts to you, congratulations—you’re an asshole. Fix it.
3. Not Everything Needs Your Opinion.
There is a difference between speaking your truth and being a loud, unsolicited, human migraine. No one asked for your hot take on someone’s weight, parenting style, or dating choices. Shut up.
4. If You’re Mean “As a Joke,” You’re Just Mean.
You can’t insult someone and then say, “It was just a joke” when they get mad. That’s what gaslighters do. You’re not funny. You’re just an asshole.
5. Respect People’s Boundaries.
No means no. No response also means no. If you take offense to someone setting a boundary, you are the problem.
6. Stop Weaponizing Fake Outrage.
If you’re only offended when it benefits you but silent when real issues arise, you’re not an activist—you’re a manipulator. Pick a struggle.
7. Your Road Rage Isn’t Cute.
Screaming at people in traffic doesn’t make you a badass; it makes you look unhinged. Relax. You’re gonna get where you’re going.
8. Your Phone Doesn’t Make You the Paparazzi.
Filming strangers in public for “content” without their consent is creepy. Put the damn phone down.
9. Mind Your Business.
If it doesn’t involve you, it’s not your problem. Stay out of it.
10. Be Accountable.
If someone tells you that you hurt them, listen. Apologize. Learn. Grow. Don’t double down like an ego-driven toddler.
Now, for the Overachievers—How to Go from Asshole to Decent Human Being in 5 Simple Steps
Listen more, talk less. You might learn something.
Tip your servers, delivery drivers, and baristas. And no, “they should get a better job” is not an excuse.
Stop playing devil’s advocate for terrible people. That’s not intelligence—it’s just obnoxious.
Be self-aware. If multiple people say you’re a problem, guess what? You’re the problem.
Buy my ebook. Seriously. It’s the best step toward self-improvement you can take.
Ready to Fully Detox from Asshole Behavior?
If you felt personally attacked at any point, that’s your conscience trying to tell you something. Lean into it. And if you really want to level up, grab my ebook “How to Not Be an Asshole in Today’s Society”—where I go even deeper into this mess.
Because let’s face it: the world has enough assholes. Don’t be one of them.
