Who Told You That Was the Standard?
Deconstructing the Invisible Rules That Run Our Lives
There are rules no one remembers agreeing to—rules about how you should look, speak, work, dream, and exist. They don’t live in law books or job handbooks. No, these rules slither into our psyches through commercials, school dress codes, corporate culture, and backhanded compliments. They whisper: "Straight hair looks more professional," "Real success comes with a 6-figure title," "Only certain bodies belong in bikinis," or my personal favorite, “Tone it down if you want to be taken seriously.”
But let’s pause for a second and ask: Who told you that was the standard?
Who decided beige was more trustworthy than bold?
Who declared the 9-to-5 life the pinnacle of success?
Who crowned skinny as healthy and loud as unprofessional?
These standards weren’t made with you in mind. They were made to contain you. To tame, to dilute, to shame you into submission. They were created to uphold comfort for the majority and conformity for everyone else. These “standards” are often invisible shackles, keeping people stuck chasing dreams that were never even theirs to begin with.
So let me ask you this:
Are you living a life that aligns with your soul—or a checklist someone else handed you?
Because true liberation starts when you stop asking for permission and start questioning the blueprint. Burn it if it doesn’t serve you. Rebuild it with your flavor, your roots, your glow.
You are allowed to be both wild and wise, refined and rebellious, soft and strong.
You are allowed to redefine every single standard that never saw you to begin with.
🔥 CTA:
Share this with someone who's still chasing a dream that isn’t even theirs.
Better yet—ask them: "Who told you that was the standard?"
🧠 Mental Health & Wellness
The Nap Ministry: Founded by Tricia Hersey, this platform promotes rest as a form of resistance and healing for Black communities. Learning for Justice+4Verywell Mind+4Wikipedia+4
Liberate App: A meditation app designed by and for Black, Indigenous, and People of Color, offering culturally relevant mindfulness practices. Harvard Projects
Psych Central's Mental Health Resources for People of Color: A comprehensive guide to mental health support tailored for communities of color.
💼 Career & Entrepreneurship
CultureCon & The Creative Collective NYC: Founded by Imani Ellis, this community uplifts Black and brown creatives through networking, resources, and events like CultureCon. Time
ColorStack: A nonprofit organization supporting Black and Latinx computer science students with academic advising and career development opportunities. Wikipedia
Resilience Education's Black History Month 2025 Resources: Offers career resources and opportunities for Black talent, including business programs and scholarships. resilience-education.org
🏛️ Civic Engagement & Advocacy
NAACP's Our 2025 Toolkit: A resource to combat policy proposals that threaten progress and democracy, particularly impacting Black communities. NAACP
Black Muslim Leadership Council (BMLC): An organization focused on policy advocacy, voter turnout, civic education, and leadership development for Black American Muslims. Wikipedia
🎨 Culture & Storytelling
For the Culture with Amanda Parris: A documentary series exploring pressing issues affecting the Black diaspora globally, including education and Black maternal health care. Wikipedia
Black History Month 2025 Resources: A collection of resources and stories celebrating Black history and culture. interculturalministriescentral.org
🏳️🌈 LGBTQ+ & Intersectional Support
Brave Space Alliance: A Black-led, trans-led LGBTQ+ center in Chicago providing resources, programs, and services to LGBTQ+ individuals. Wikipedia
